Last night NBT and I went out to dinner at a little place on the other side of town, that we've been meaning to try for a while. On the drive over we both swore and grumbled about how lousy this weather is, this monthlong stretch of grey gloomy sodden rain-fog-mist-drizzle. I try not to complain about the weather, but it's gotten to me.
We got in an even worse mood while we watched the people at the table the hostess told us would soon free up sit and linger, ask for refills on their water, nurse half a martini. Finally, after glowering at them unsuccessfully for a while, we gave up and sat at the bar.
And our night turned around. The bartender, Andrew, turned out to be personable and exacting, with strong opinions about cocktails that he was eager to share. The couple beside us was friendly and interesting. The way this town works is, when you meet somebody good it turns out you already know them, somehow. Beth and Jos live two blocks away from us, it turns out, but they also spent years on the Island where I ran the sailing program the last couple of years, and we know lots of the same people. And the bartender and Beth had lots to talk about: both teach art to kids. Candlelight flickered on the bar and the warm radiance was an approximation of the sunshine I've been longing for.
The owner of the restaurant came out and talked to us. Beth complimented her on the feeling of intimacy in the place, and she told us about Danny Meyer, a famous restaurant guy, who said that people need to feel seen and heard. That's the most important thing they want when they go to a restaurant. Not seen like a celebrity wants to be seen in the hottest new place, but acknowledged emotionally. We're trying to make a place like that, the owner told us. You've done it, we all said. The bartender said to the owner, I like working here because of that. I feel like I'm part of something.
It made me think of you talking to folks at your gym. People want to be seen. It's powerful magic. The glow from the evening kept us warm and even today, another day where the ground is slick and wet and the view is closed in by a layer of fog, I feel warm enough.
