You and I talked about our default rules -- ways we make decisions when we're not sure how to proceed. I was talking yesterday to my pal Turbo, who has the blues. He's thinking of going for a sail this weekend, but didn't feel particularly motivated, and wondered if once he was out there he would feel glad he'd decided to go. I said, 'that's how sailing works -- whether you want to go or not, you're always glad you did.' It's a default rule for me. If you can go sailing, it doesn't really matter if you want to, or what the weather looks like, or who else will be going, or what kind of boat it is, or how early you have to get up to do it. Just go.
I've been working as a sailing coach for the last three years, which has meant me being out on the water, closely watching some six hundred sailboat races. I've learned lots, probably more than I realize. I've been out there in the wind and the stillness, in the snow and the sun, in eight hours of downpour or raw, cold, 40 degree days where I've had to bite my fingers to stave off frostbite, blowing whistles and noting technique and yelling encouragement. I worked harder -- and laughed more -- in that job than I ever did as a lawyer. But I haven't been able to go sailing very much at all. It's been my business to facilitate other people's fun. And after hours spent standing in a motorboat or on a dock squinting at sailboats, what I want to do on a free afternoon changed -- sitting in a coffee shop with a good book and nobody to coach was a rare treat. Going for a sail with friends started to feel like work.
I have six more weeks of blowing whistles and explaining wind patterns, and then it's my new desk job.
I'm in the career planning office at the college, meeting one-on-one with students and planning campus programs that help them think about where they're going to head when they graduate. These are conversations that play to my nosiness and my imagination and curiosity, and I love helping students make tangible progress on practical goals. (And, after four years of trying to live on an insufficient salary, I'm getting paid enough, which is an enormous relief.) So I'm excited about the job for many reasons. But one of the biggest reasons is that I will get to BE a sailor again. I get to do it for fun, to stop teaching so much and start learning and practicing myself. The world stopped making sense for a little while there, when I stopped being thrilled and challenged by sailing and instead felt burdened by the responsibility to be the best, to get even higher performance out of my students. I get my default rule back. I can't wait.