I saw different summaries of that work on praise when it first came out and never followed it back to the source, because it doesn't jibe with my impressions at all. I don't know about kids, or about coaxing the best sense of reward out of them. Maybe I'm wrong, and destroying people's potential for self-satisfaction from mastery right and left. But I am a constant praiser and complimenter, and if anything, I don't think it is enough. Maybe I'm projecting, but I think lots of people walk around with huge holes in them, always comparing themselves against impossible ideals*. I don't worry how praise could go wrong; I think about ways to send more praise out there. I think most people need considerably more unconditional love and praise than they get. My friend Karen, whose house you picked me up at, told me that she believes that for every time a kid hears "what's wrong with you?", he needs to hear that he is perfect a thousand times. I think so too, and intend to deliver some of those.
You could say that since if people aren't going to get that love and praise from external sources (despite my efforts), they might as well get gratification from the skill. Sure, I suppose, but like you, I'm not convinced the instructor has much to do with that. When I taught TKD, I took a very different approach from your candy and sunshine. It was all pseudo-military and macho, and I was far and away the strictest instructor, requiring all sorts of exacting ritual. The college kids I taught loved it, ate that up, became as formal as I demanded. (I also did a lot of walking through class praising quietly and touching people, moving them into position.) And, you know, some of them lit up and stayed with TKD and others dropped out the next semester. People will like it or not. Maybe some of them like it despite over-praising. So I intend to praise and praise a lot.
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I love that you actually consider how things make you happy. I think that is so rare, to stop and ask 'do I feel happy doing this? Why?'. I think people don't do that enough, and get off track. I'm surprised you aren't asking your husband to show you how to dance. Dancing always makes me happy, and a man who liked to dance would be a gift beyond all expectation. I'm thinking you guys make your living room floor earn its keep.
*There's the body image stuff, of course, where unless you shield yourself from media very rigorously, you could get a pretty unreasonable idea about what you're supposed to look like. Somewhere or other I read someone pointing that the range of beauty has grown so much with worldwide media. Used to be that the prettiest girl in the village was the prettiest person you'd ever see. Odds are that you aren't in an entirely different class than the prettiest girl in the village. But when the prettiest person you'll ever see is the prettiest woman in India, that gap between you and perfectly beautiful yawns impossibly wide.