Aw man, I want more friends. More specifically, I want a certain kind of friends. It isn't that I don't have enough friends, because I have lots of friends that I love spending time with, or at least I'd love to spend time with them if they didn't live all over the place. Friends, why did you scatter? We were doing so great when we were in one place, but now you live in all these different cities and I CAN'T FEED YOU NACHOS OVER THERE. Then when I visit, I want to spend all day with you and your beautiful kids, but if I do I am not spending all day with my other friend, so I split the day and feel bad leaving each of you and totally remember how amazing you are so I want to hang out more, but I can't. This is because there is never enough time because you are not here. So I don't want more of those far friends. I want a crew.
I want a crew and I want it close. I want a crew where doing things together is the default. I want a crew that knows to stop by after work, for a drink or to return the drill or to get back that shirt that someone else left on the porch. I want a crew that loosely knows the others' locations, as in, "Chris isn't coming; isn't this dance night for him?" I want a crew that generates things to do, because someone walked by that flyer on the way to work. I want a crew so that you don't need anything to do, because someone will show up with cheese and olives, and someone else will have a six-pack, and there're chairs on the porch and the night is warm, wasn't someone suppose to call Monica back?
I have the start of a crew in Oakland, because I have Anand and Chris, and we don't need to have anything to do to get together on any occasion and spend the next thirteen hours together. But Anand is still an hour away and Chris is in grad school, so he only wants us to be near while he studies, which isn't as thrilling as Chris's full potential. My sister has been hanging out with us some, which is great, because she has fantastic deck hanging-out skills. But three people who are far or distracted are not a crew. I have slight hopes for next year. If Karen and Jeremy move to Sac (as we all hope) and Chris moves back (as he intends), I bet I could also get Monica. That means we'd be up to five plus babies within three miles, which is a good core for a crew.
You see what the solution to this is, right? It
is so clear. Anand needs to get over the fact that he can only
practice his highly paid professional skills somewhere with a fancy
lab, which is San Jose. Chris needs to get done with his fancy degree
and move home. And all of us need to find sweethearts. See, that
would do it just fine. That'd be six, which is enough for subsets to
do stuff when others don't want to socialize, but still possible to
move between venues. Which means that they need to think a little more
broadly when they fall for someone. I think they've been basing their
romantic decisions on their own feeeeelings, which is fine for a month
or two. But then they have to think, "is this the girl that is going
to socialize happily with my other freakshow hippie friends?" Think of
the potential crew, Chris and Anand! Focus!
I know, I know. I have a part too, and it isn't just keeping chips and
pico de gallo on hand. I'm trying. Right now I can offer occasional
sister participation and usually invite in another person or two. That
builds numbers, but it doesn't create the regular contacts that you
need for it all to be easy. I will visualize! I will visualize a darkhaired man who wants to come home to me and sneak some kisses
before other great people stop in and the chatting fills the room and I
sometimes glance over at him and we share a look as I set out dishes.
Visualizing is practically like solving the problem!