You know what I think it is? I think I hate being condescended to, and so do you. And I hate the idea of people who aren't any smarter or more well-meaning than me, and might possibly be less smart or less well-meaning than me, deciding they don't need my input to make decisions that impact people I care about helping. This is the essence of the current chip on my shoulder, and the way it has snuck from big firm law partners (about whom I now feel a gentle pity, for their silly ways only hurt themselves) over to those who control and run academia, where I now work. Those folks I am scrutinizing very carefully, and where I perceive a disinterest in collaborating with me (me! well-intentioned, friendly, reasonably articulate me!), I get all grouchy and critical and defensive.
It reminds me of your flare of anger against the scarf-lady. I've been mulling that one over, your pissed off attitude about people who dismiss you because you're not dressed up. I dress up every day now, because as a career advisor part of our job is to look a little bit like the business world, to model the firm handshakes and appropriate office attire that students don't necessarily see elsewhere on campus. It's just how it is, people make judgments about you based on what you look like, and you can prep them to think of you as a professional expert by dressing the way they expect a professional expert to look. I'm learning to do this, and I'm having a little bit of fun with it, although I'm still not particularly good at conveying all the stuff I'm hoping to through my clothes: professional, yes, but playful and approachable, too, not all stuffy and preppy and uptight.
Anyway, I've heard you mention trusting or not-trusting people because of what they wear before, and then you got all mad at the scarf lady for not listening to you. My response was similar to what you said about the professors: silly scarf lady, she's only hurting herself, hasn't she learned yet that smart people wear all kinds of things? But of course it turns into something worthy of anger if she's standing in your way, and it's worthy of righteous indignation if she's also obstructing the progress of the people of California's water- and climate- management plans by being a clothing snob.
So, my prescription for us both is to figure out how to make sure people who might not be inclined to listen to us do so. I am going to need to figure out how to charm professors, even those who may be all the bad things I imagined in my previous post, so that I can have the voice I wish to have in the life of the college. (And I have learned much from your response, and the emails from readers.) You are going to need to figure out how to get your good ideas heard by people in the state governance food chain, even the ones who turn up their nose at your comfy and practical jeans. You said you *like* when people underrate you, and I like to think I do, too, but I think the truth is we only like that when we get the gratification of watching people realize we are smarter than they first believed us to be. Neither of us like to be ignored or condescended to, even though both of us like to be outsiders. That's what I think.