This is heavy on the generalizations, and I don't like talk about 'how the kids are', and it matches none of my experience in three excellent universities. But perhaps a discussion about how Ivy League educations make their students narrow would interest you, Sherry.
Via Ezra.
Alright, I can't help myself.
The author realizes that his Ivy League education didn't prepare him to chat with a plumber from another social class? Here, let me quote:
There he was, a short, beefy guy with a goatee and a Red Sox cap and a thick Boston accent, and I suddenly learned that I didn’t have the slightest idea what to say to someone like him.
Is he kidding? He has trouble talking to his plumber, a beefy Bostonian? Yeah, you know what? I have trouble talking to my plumbers too. Here in Sacramento, you get two kinds of plumbers. Me, I prefer the southeast Asian ones. I’m pretty savvy, but I have to admit that I can't tell the hill peoples apart, so honestly, I don't know whether my usual plumber is Hmong or Karen. I have a hard time talking to him because his English is so heavily accented and my Hmoob (which you can select at local ATMs) just sucks. The plumbers I don't like are the evangelical Russians. You’d think we’d have a better chance talking, since I took all that Russian and they often speak OK English. But I find that the only thing I want to say to them is 'join this century already, you murderous, vicious, sexist, homophobic assholes.' So that's not much of a conversation, is it?
So, yeah, Mr. I Can’t Talk To My Plumber, it can be really hard to talk to the people you hire. My Dad, for example, learned to stop asking our Salvadorian housecleaner how she was when she said “Much better, thank you and my sister has nearly recovered from finding her husband's head in the creek behind their house.” But you know what? There are still some realms of chat that you can use. I suggest briefly discussing the problem you hired them for, offering a glass of water and leaving the scene. I find they mostly just want to do the job they were hired for. You could ask them if they see any other problems looming; they're professionals, you know. Assuming they want to chat, I suggest: the high price of gas, the Kings-Lakers finals of six years ago and how their children are doing in school. Those work.
I can sort of see how it must have been a rough shock to Mr. Deresiewicz to find himself with such a big hole in his social graces and realize he'd never before noticed. But honestly, a multi-generation American plumber who speaks the same language as you and doesn’t think you are a manifestation of the devil for being a single non-religious woman? Dude. That'd be cake.