A long time ago you wrote a post about how a professor of yours abruptly and impatiently summarized a deep, complex undergraduate personal dilemma by saying, "Yes, well, you have imperfect choices in an uncertain world." You wrote about how that blew your mind, wise as it was, and how it got you unstuck.
I've been thinking about that post because I get to sit and listen to complex undergraduate personal dilemmas, sometimes seven or eight or even (on busy Thursdays) up to thirteen a day. They are complex and deep, some of them, and all of them are important and personal and sometimes paralyzing to the students. And a lot of times I can help unstick a student by saying something like what your professor did. You have imperfect choices in an uncertain world. It's possible that you might fail at this thing. Someday, someone you would like to impress might judge you unfavorably based on this choice. You can't do everything. When you choose one thing, you are choosing not to do something else. I am not gruff and impatient, and I don't mean to diminish the difficulty of imperfect choices in an uncertain world. But it is the great gift of adulthood and age and failing at things and emerging resilient that you get less paralyzed. I work with students who are so very, very bright, so gifted and curious and ambitious and driven and warm-hearted and engaged with the world. All I've got on them is age and its share of failures and successes and the lack of fear that comes with realizing that the world rewards courage much of the time, that most people want to help, that few people expect perfection. What surprises me is how often my perspective does seem to help.
Today, re-reading that beautiful beautiful post you wrote, reminds me also how lucky I am to know you. Thanks for being so wise and brave and so generous with your insights. And, yes, strong.