Condolences

Hey hon,

I was so sorry to hear that the marriage equality bill failed in Maine.  That sucks.  It sucked here, too, on what otherwise was such a good night.  It felt crappy, the realization that your people, half of the people who make up your (Californian, Mainer) identity would do that to your other closer people.  The next day, when I had lunch with Margie, like I always do, I couldn't stop apologizing.  I'm sorry, Margie.  I'm so sorry that small, uncompassionate people voted that your marriage isn't a real marriage.  I am even more sorry that we are in this ridiculous situation where people get to vote on someone else's marriage at all.  How can we possibly be in this situation, where I get to vote on someone else's marriage?  It is a preposterous thought.  How would it feel to have someone else vote on my marriage, my partnership, my family?  Some realms are entirely incongruent with other realms, like buying humans, or voting on families.

I have bad news, from a year ahead of you guys.  You might want to be prepared for this, because I didn't expect it.  What you're feeling, the outrage and sorrow and shocked realization that you were this close to living in a humane and equal state and once you hoped for it, that is what you really, really want, those feelings don't go away.  My sister and I were driving somewhere and with no context, in the silent car, she said "Prop 8 just gets more insulting every day."  It does.  We're both straight, so we're not even the direct recipients.  But I look at my friends, at my own family members, and I cannot fucking believe that we got to vote on their intimate lives and worse, that we voted wrong.  The first day after, I was shocked and disappointed.  A year later, I'm more disappointed, and angrier.

I don't know what to tell you, because it sucks and it is wrong.  There's next time.  I did some small campaigning last time and it is the only thing that keeps me from shriveling up in shame.  I honestly thought Prop 8 would fail.  I couldn't see how people could be cruel enough to choose to make some of us second-place citizens.  Now that I'm that much more motivated, and that much more discouraged by half my state, I'll do a lot more.  But that's next time.  In the meantime, it feels bad.  I'm sorry, hon.  It is going to feel bad up until everyone knows that my state respects and protects their lives and loves and families the same.

Comments

[NickS]

This is very well written, thank you.