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December 20, 2009


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Good analysis, but I don't have any interest in having these faux-friend acquaintanceships, though I understand in principle how that could be attractive.

Just seems so shallow and artificial, though. Of course, I'm not the ideal test subject for such a thing.

I wonder how neurotypicals will react to the idea?

"Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." (Matthew 7:6).

The group exclusion has a certain whiff of high school about it; that is, one of your group,miffed at you for some imagined slight or action, exaggerates what happened when meeting with the other members, asking that you not be included in group events because the member feels "uncomfortable" when you're around (and who wants to make one of your friends uncomfortable).

What to do. If you have no clue as to what happened and you still wish a connection with one or more of this bunch, call your (imagined) closest member and have coffee with her. Then, find out what's going on with the gang. It may be that you will have to feel good about retaining individual members as friends, while not being part of the group or you may correct a misunderstanding and rejoin. But, things will never feel quite as comfortable as they once did.

Ooo bee di oo bee da, goes the song and you can be grateful and happy, ecstatic even, that you have a fine new circle of friends.

I love that you use "acquaintance" here. I wish the word weren't dying out. It feels awkward to use it in common conversation, but it's so descriptive of the majority of my alleged 300 "friends" on Facebook (I am one of those people who can't refuse a Friend request unless I sincerely don't know who this person is).

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